When I was younger I was the victim of bullying. It happened at school, it happened at university and it happened at work. 

And it was never the actual physical stuff, it was always the threat of it, the comments and the name calling in earlier years and later, people abusing their position to undermine me. 

For a long time I thought it was my fault. Bullies like that - it seems to give them even more strength and motivation. And as someone who lacked confidence and internalised things, it was easy for them to bully me and put me down.The more they did it, the weaker I felt.

Overcoming Bullying

It was when I sorted my confidence and overcame my belief of not being good enough that things changed. I felt in control. I felt like I was finally me. 

Since hypnotherapy helped me recover my confidence and self esteem I can't think of a single occasion where someone has been able to force me down to exert some sort of dominance. Sure I've had disagreements and arguements and made some difficult choices about who I spend time with, but it's never about something being fundamentally wrong with me, it's just the ebb and flow of relationships.

Because no one is actually broken, you may just have some unhelpful beliefs and ways of thinking like I did.

So to overcome bullying here are my suggestions based upon my own experiences in the past:

1) Talk to someone you trust. Whether it's a partner, parent, friend or someone else, you've got to verbalise what is happening to help you make sense of it and get persepective. It took me a long while to learn this - when I worked in an office I struggled for a number of years from the actions of one senior manager - and when I did take action, it still took me a long while to recover from the damage I'd let that person inflict.

2) Increase your confidence. Learn how to feel comfortable being yourself or visit a qualified hypnotherapist for some support. When you are comfortable being yourself and don't let the bullying wound you inside, then you immediately take away their power. Bullying, like arguing, needs two people to take part.

Recently I was working with a client who was off work following workplace bullying. Together we helped him to restore his confidence, take control over his own thoughts and emotions, become resiliant and disconnect all the old triggers the bully had used to get at him. Within a short time, he told me that now all the old stuff just washed straight over him. He was enjoying being at work again.

Dan Regan

Hypnotherapy in Ely & Newmarket