To really fire up your confidence, you are going to have to break out of your comfort zone. 

When we stop growing and progressing, we can stagnate or even start going backwards and shrink back to the familiar. We lose momentum, everything seems more of a stretch and our confidence and well-being suffers.

So if you want to make changes in your life to bust anxiety and feel more confident then follow these steps to make it happen:

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I’ve had a busy week helping people turbo charge their confidence so they know they can achieve the things they want to with their life. As someone who used to suffer with a low self esteem, I know what a limiting impact it can have for you when you doubt your own confidence.

One of my recent clients who lacked confidence told me she would often feel uncomfortable around other people, especially in a group or if she didn’t know them very well.  She just sort of assumed they weren’t very interested in what she had to say and probably weren’t that keen on having her there anyway.

So she would avoid these sorts of situations as much as possible, and if it couldn’t be avoided the whole thing would turn into an anxious ordeal where she couldn’t think of anything to say, would feel uncomfortable and would want to disappear into the background until the whole thing was over.

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If you are over thirty then chances are you have at least a vague recollection of Showaddywaddy from when they regularly enjoyed chart success (if you don’t remember them (shame on you!) or you are a bit younger then check them out on You Tube!).

Showaddywaddy were the first band I ever went to see live in concert. I was about ten and my mum took me and my brother to see them play in Cardiff. I remember it was very loud and I didn’t have a clue what was going on.

And I saw them another few times when I was a bit older. But it was the time I saw them in 2006 that made my anxiety rocket and tested my confidence levels.

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When I was younger I was the victim of bullying. It happened at school, it happened at university and it happened at work. 

And it was never the actual physical stuff, it was always the threat of it, the comments and the name calling in earlier years and later, people abusing their position to undermine me. 

For a long time I thought it was my fault. Bullies like that - it seems to give them even more strength and motivation. And as someone who lacked confidence and internalised things, it was easy for them to bully me and put me down.The more they did it, the weaker I felt.

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Social anxiety is something I suffered with for years before hypnotherapy helped me overcome my anxiety and enjoy being comfortable being myself.

I would constantly worry what others were thinking about me and worry about making an idiot of myself or doing something wrong. I would waste time and energy playing negative scenarios in my mind and criticising myself for not being good enough. I felt like there were two versions of me - the real me I could be when on my own and with others I knew well, and the anxious me who felt uncomfortable and would worry, stress and be unable to function around others.

Interviews, presentations and social occasions were an inner ordeal and sometimes my anxiety was so great I just wouldn’t do them.

I remember one time in an old job calling in sick just to avoid giving a 5 minute presentation. And of course whilst that removed the anxiety around the presentation itself, I spent many hours worrying about what they would think about me not being there and imagining them thinking negatively of me. 

If you suffer with social anxiety some of this may feel familiar.

Overcoming Social Anxiety

I know that you can smash through your social anxiety, however bad you think it is right now.

Here are three things that you can start to do that will immediately kick start you feeling happier, more confident and more comfortable being yourself:

1) Make time to relax and focus on what you want to happen. STOP worrying about all the things that could go wrong and what others may think – FLIP IT and start thinking how you do want things to go and looking forward to feeling more confident and in control.

2) Do at least one thing a day that takes you outside your comfort zone. However big or small: make it happen. It may be starting a conversation with someone you don’t know that well, picking up the phone instead of e-mailing or saying one thing in a meeting. Sure, you may feel a small rush of adrenaline but the positive payback will be ten times the payback.

3) Take action on the things you want to do BEFORE you feel 100% ready. There comes a time when all the analysis needs to end. If the thought of doing it excites you then commit to it and tell that doubting little voice in your head to get onside or shut up!

And most importantly, know that whatever happens – YOU’LL BE OKAY.

Dan Regan

www.danreganhypnotherapy.co.uk 

Have you ever had one of those situations in a meeting or when talking to someone when you feel tense, uncomfortable, anxious and you just want it to be over?

Or maybe you sometimes feel that some people are more intelligent or somehow better than you and when you speak to them you get a bit lost in your own thoughts, maybe even not saying much because you don't want to look stupid?

And then you kick yourself because someone else suggests the same thing you were thinking and everyone responds positively. It could have been you who said it!

Putting People On A Pedestal

Obviously there is nothing wrong with admiring somone who is gifted at some skill, or wanting to learn from them.

However, recently I was working with a client who felt way, way down the pecking order at work and put everyone on some higher level in her mind compared to herself.

In meetings she would be reluctant to speak because her managers had been doing it longer, knew more and she thought she would make an idiot of herself. She would try to avoid giving her opinions and even try and avoid speaking to senior managers or others who she felt knew so much more than her. 

In these situations she would feel tense and anxious. Sometimes somone wlse would say the very thing she had been thinking and she'd mentally kick herself about her failure to speak up.

So how did we easily change this?

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I love helping people increase their confidence and self esteem. 

I'm very lucky to be able to help people move from feeling anxious, worried and hiding in the sidelines. Using the key of confidence hypnotherapy they soon light up, discover their confidence and feel comfortable being themselves. In a very short space of time they quickly start moving forward and doing the things that they want to do, achieving some amazing things along the way.

Hypnotherapy For Confidence

One client who used my confidence hypnotherapy to change her life was Anita and this is what she said after our sessions:

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The fear of public speaking is said to be one of the biggest fears that affects people – in fact, many people will do all they can to avoid ever being in a situation where they need to give a speech, deliver a presentation or speak in front of others.

When I work with people who have a fear of public speaking the sort of things that concern them are: 

Earlier in the month, I went to a conference in Cambridge where Michael Heppell (author of several books including ‘How To Be Brilliant’) spoke. If you ever get a chance to see Michael speak then I’d highly recommend you go.

At the conference Michael asked the audience:

‘How many of you could use more confidence?

Is there anybody here who can honestly say that they have all the confidence they need in every area of their life?’

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I see a lot of clients who hold a deep belief of ‘I’m not worthy’ or ‘I’m not good enough’. This can then lead to making images in their minds of things going badly, or bad feelings or an internal voice that criticizes and puts them down. The end result is ongoing feelings of anxiety, low confidence and low self esteem which impacts on career, health and relationships and stops them doing things in their life.

If I believe I’m not good enough (which I did used to believe before hypnotherapy helped me) then I must consider that

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