When I used to struggle with social anxiety, I would find most social occasions an anxious, worry-inducing struggle. I would worry beforehand about what people thought about me, I would constantly try and 'read' what others were thinking about what I was doing and saying whilst I was with them, and then I would dwell and replay situations in a negative way after the event.

I was constantly worried about not being good enough and being judged negatively by others.

Yet from an early age I thought that somehow I could push myself through it.

Fake It 'Til You Make It

If only I could put myself into more situations that pushed me outside of my comfort zone I'd be ok - I'd get used to it and then it would become normal.

At school I went through a period when I set myself a challenge to say at least three things in each lesson. 

At university I would have an extra drink and hope to relax enough to 'switch off' the social anxiety - yet there it was back again the next morning as I went over and over what I might have said and done the night before.

I became a parish and district councillor, I went to interviews and delivered presentations at work.  

Yet at the end of it all, there was the social anxiety.

It still leaked into my thoughts and self talk, it still limited my actions and limited my life. It felt like there was a 'real' me that only came out when I was on my own or around a few trusted others with whom I felt totally comfortable.

And that is the trick of social anxiety - no matter how hard you try and push through it or fake it until you make it, there it still is crowding your mind, generating your anxiety.

stop looking magic you are it hypnotherapy in ely 

Overcoming Social Anxiety

To abolish your social anxiety you need to get it at its root rather than just trying to deal with the thoughts and behaviours. Otherwise you are still left with those worries about what other people think, that fear of being judged negatively and living your life with limits.

To end social anxiety you need to change your belief that you aren't good enough, lack worth or don't deserve to be happy.

And once you know that you are good enough, you can relax, be yourself and start enjoying life more and more.

Dan Regan

Hypnotherapy in Ely & Newmarket