Where does the time go? Are you doing life your way? 

If you've been on Facebook for any period of time then you'll be familiar with their 'on this day' notifications whereby they tell you what you've posted on the same day in previous years.

And while I'm not overly interested in what I posted on that day seven years ago, I do love seeing my photos from yesteryear. A lot of these are running related from my marathon and other races but what I love more than anything is seeing pictures I posted of my daughters. These are full of happy memories and key milestones and I love to show them to my girls and talk about their memories of those family days. 

It being September, a whole load of these pictures have been school related milestones, like the manadatory 'first day back for a new school year stand in front of the doo'r variety. If you have children, or any of your social media friends have them, then you've probably been scrolling through a bunch of these recently.

Today, some photos appeared from my eldest daughter's first day of pre-school. Wowsers! I mean, she's in year 5 now! Where did the time go!

Which is something I hear a lot from people I speak to - where does the time go?

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This fear of flying no longer takes off!!

Nothing makes me even more motivated and determined to help people than hearing about my clients who are now getting on with stuff that worried and stressed them before.

Take fear of flying for example. How many people avoid going on holiday and enjoying new experiences simply because their panic, fear and anxiety about getting on that plane is overwhleming?

So I was overjoyed when I got inot the office today to find a postcard waiting for me from one of my clients, Beth, telling me  what a great time she was having in Menorca.

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Department of Awesome & That Lump In The Throat Feeling:

I hope that anyone who has ever worked with me knows that I invest a huge amount of time, energy, and resolve into doing all that I can to support them in achieving their goals. Why? Because when someone you help is able to go on and acheive their goals, and often more, it brings massive levels of fulfillment and pleasure to me. And why not, because I work with some wonderful people.

So many of my clients are graduates of the Department of Awesome because they have had the conviction and motivation to take action and seek help to change something in their lives that was causing misery or pain. They took action, committed to engaging in a positive mindset in and out of sessions and, as a result, are now getting on with life.

You may have already read some of their comments and watched their videos on my What People Say page.  

And over the last few days I've had more reasons to smile, and several times, I've had that lump in the thoat kind of feeling.

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Diffusing anxiety-fuelled worst case scenarios:

I don't know about you but I've always had a tendancy to imagine scenarios in my head about what might happen in the future if I do this thing or make this decison and so forth. These days, now that I understand more about scenarios and how to control them, these scenarios tend to be more of a neutral contemplation or even about good stuff happening.

But when I used to struggle with severe anxiety, these scenarios would be like major feature film worst case scenario type disasters happening; like not being able to answer a question in a meeting and looking an idiot, or of standing up to present and going blank, or somehow messing up in what I said or did when out socially.

Whenever I work with clients with anxiety, this capability to imagine all sorts of future worst case scenarios and disastrous "what if?" thoughts tend to appear. 

Our imagination is a wonderful thing, especially if you pause and consider that everything ever designed, built or made, from your computer to your chair, and every work of fiction you've ever read or TV show you've watched, started off as something in someone's imagination. How awesome is that?!

Yet feelings of anxiety will always colour your imaginings with shades of things going wrong or badly in some way, leading to feelings of more anxiety, leading to more of those anxiety fuelled thoughts. So how can you dilute them to such a point that the anxiety has to subside?

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How To Have a Happy Day!

Now I don't know about you but one thing I regularly notice on my daily walk to work to my office in Ely, is just how bloody miserable people seem to look! When someone comes in my direction I might move onto the road so they can continue on their way unimpeded, and as I look at them and smile they glare back as if I've stolen their last Rolo! (Remember the old advert about 'do you love someone enough to give them your last rolo'?) Or they stare at the floor and continue on their way as if I wasn't there and it didn't happen. 

(Or they may be so engrossed in looking down at their phone that maybe to their brain it didn't happen!)

But heck, these small interactions aren't going to colour my day, and I don't know what's going on in their world that makes them feel so grey and weary.

Of course not everyone does this; many others acknowledge me with a 'good morning' or 'thank you' along with a wonderful beaming smile and expression of gratitide. I like these people! I really do!

But if you're one of those people who wakes up glum, looking forward to nothing but a day of glum, going through the same old thoughts, feelings and experiences like you're on a hamster wheel, then you might want to do something about it, mightn't you?

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How To Deal With Anxiety - Hypnotherapy Review

When you struggle with anxiety, it can make even the simplest of tasks turn into a battle. Things other people seem to just do can become anxiety-fulled struggles to avoid or endure - things like talking to others, answering the phone or open the door.

Recently I read an article where a therapist described how anxiety is your friend and should be welcomed. And certainly where anxiety is at a reasonable or appropriate level to what is going on then it can be helpful - it can help us avoid threats and harm and give us a clear 'warning signal' that we might need to review our plans or what we are doing.

Yet when someone has an anxiety disorder, the last thing they consider their anxiety to be is helpful. When anxiety levels are too high, everything can seem like a threat and all those thoughts lead to more anxiety which leads to even more thoughts. Once we take away the emotion, the thoughts are no different to hundreds of other random thoughts that pop in and out of heads all day long, yet which don't stop us going about our day. 

And having been there with anxiety myself, I know what a relief it is to reset anxiety, feel back in control and start enjoing life again. 

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Are you living on autopilot?

I'm just back from a wonderful family holiday away up on the East Yorkshire coast. I had loads of good times exploring new places, playing on the beach and just spending quality time with my kids (who never cease to challenge and amuse me in roughly equal measure!). I even found time to watch my first ever live game of rugby league (a corker of a game with the home team, Hull KR coming our on top! 'When the red, red robin goes bob-bob-bobbing-along....') and I'm still trying to figure out how my 6 and 9 year olds keep comprehensively beating me at the card game 'Uno'.

One of the things I cherish most about time with my kids on holdiday is how we can all just relax and go with the flow a bit. It means if we want to explore caves then we can (like in the photo below), or we can sit and try and spot the seal popping his head above the water, or it may be spending some time looking for crabs or throwing rocks into the sea. 

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New Hypnosis Audios available very soon!

I'm often getting asked when I will be adding to the hypnosis tracks I have available in my online hypnosis shop, particualarly by those who have listened to and benefited from my current offerings and now want some additional and fresh content to listen to.

So I'm delighted to confirm that I will have two new products available later this month. 

The feedback from those who have trialled them has been awesome so I can't wait to share them with you and many others.

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Life Changing Hypnotherapy - Gaining Self Confidence

Do you ever struggle to interact with other people? I remember how, when I struggled with low self confidence and social anxiety, even the most straightforward of interactions would be an anxiety fuelled process full of potential minefields.

There were times when even standing in a queue in a corner shop would cause my anxiety levels to rise and I would be frantically rehearsing what I would say to the cashier over and over in my mind so I wouldn't mess it up and make an idiot of myself. And yes I did all those other things that socially anxious people do like avoiding people in the street, worrying about what other people thought about me, and spending waaaaayyyy too long thinking about what I was going to say rather than actually being present in the moment.   

And not only is all that worry mentally and physically draining, it also means missing out on doing things you want to do and having to endure rather than enjoy being around others.

So it's always a real delight to me when someone comes to me for help with self confidence and social anxiety when I can help them find a way to make the changes that mean they can happily achieve the things that they want to. 

Recently I worked with a lovely guy called Tom and you can read what he had to say after our sessions below.

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Hypnotherapy in Newmarket - New Location!

From 1st August 2017, I will be working from a new office location with my hypnotherapy in Newmarket clients (my Ely office is staying where it is though!). The new location is in a much more pleasant environment, has client parking available and is a much more user-friendly building.

My new Newmarket address is:

White Tara Complementary Health Centre

32 Dellor's Yard

Mill Hill


Suffolk CB8 0JB

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