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Anxiety and Worst Case Scenarios: My Ely Standard Column

Anxiety and Worst Case Scenarios: My Ely Standard Column

Anxiety and Worst Case Scenarios: My Ely Standard Column

Anxiety drives our mind to think in worst case scenarios. You imagine all sorts of potential future catastrophes, and the fear of these happening feeds back into your anxiety.

Your thoughts re-enforce your anxious feelings. And those anxious feelings drive your thoughts to think the worst. It becomes a self perpetuating loop that can be difficult to break free from. Hypnotherapy can help you to interrupt those habitual experiences that go on inside of you. You can take back control over your own thoughts and feelings so that you feel better and better in yourself.

My latest column for the Ely Standard is all about anxiety and worst case scenarios. By interrupting, diluting and changing the things going around and around inside your head, you can weaken the grip of anxiety, get a handle on things and start seeing things more clearly.

My article about anxiety and worst case scenarios is on the Ely Standard website for you to read here:

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Anxiety: Facts and Imagination

Anxiety: Facts and Imagination

Anxiety: Facts and Imagination

When it comes to anxiety, there is often the clash between facts and your imagination.

Your anxiety will have you conjure up all sorts of possibilities about things that could go wrong and how bad that would make you feel if it were to happen. Very often clients will tell me that they know what they are thinking is irrational or unlikely to happen in the catastrophic way they are thinking. Yet that doesn’t stop the unpleasant cycle of anxious thoughts and feelings from going around and around inside your head and body.

You feel anxious and that drives your mind to seek the threat. After all, to your mind if you are feeling that anxious then there must be something to be worried about. Your imagination will flow into all sorts of scenarios about what might happen in the future. There may be one specific thing that you are thinking the worst about. Or you may find that your anxiety can flow from one thing to the next with a sense of restlessness and dread.

As humans we are generally pretty rubbish at predicting the future and what will happen. I mean, just look back at science shows from thirty years ago who were predicting robots in every home and flying cars. We tend to lose sight of all the times we have worried that something bad was going to happen, only for things to turn out ok. We are only ever just taking a guess at how things will turn out.

Take the dentist for example. Who hasn’t stressed a bit before some upcoming treatment, only to leave thinking how it wasn’t as bad as expected. Or maybe you have a speech coming up and worry about freezing, or you worry about standing at an upcoming social occasion with no one wanting to talk with you. And despite these things generally going ok when they actually take place, the next time they come around, the same worry, anxiety and dread kicks back in. It’s like our brains don’t update and we forget that we are often mistaken in our predictions.

You feel anxious and imagine the worst. You scare yourself inside your own imagination. Your brain frantically responds to all of these perceived threats that go around inside your own head. Anxious thoughts lead to anxious feelings that leads to more anxious thoughts. The cycle continues to fuel itself again and again.

Yet it is very possible to break the pattern of anxiety, to start thinking more clearly and logically and so to feel calmer and more in control.

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Hypnotherapy for Running: Back in Marathon Training

Hypnotherapy for Running: Back in Marathon Training

Hypnotherapy for Running: Back in marathon training

After a tough year personally, I’m very pleased to be back in training for my next marathon in the autumn. It feels like an age since I completed my last ultra marathon back in May last year so I’m super pleased to be building up the mileage again. This next one will be part of my training to get back into the ultras later this year and into next year.

There’s a wealth of research supporting how exercise can help support your mental health. Certainly I feel better after a run and it helps me to get out and take some time to process my own thinking. Yet there are still many psychological aspects required to support your running or other exercise.

As with all sports, there is always a psychological element to running. There are the thoughts you have, helpful or otherwise, before you run, as you run and then afterwards when you think back. Some thoughts before a run may seek to derail you from even getting your trainers on. There are those negative thoughts that creep in during a run, especially when you are tired, that seem to encourage you to stop or that negatively focus on your performance and ability. And there can be those thoughts where you are self critical and tell yourself you aren’t good enough or where you negatively compare yourself to others and worry what they think about you.

Before training and competition, there is plenty of time and scope for your thoughts to limit you and hold you back. Or instead, you can use your mindset to allow you to build and to run to the best of your capability.

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Help For Shy Bladder Syndrome

Help For Shy Bladder Syndrome

Help For Shy Bladder Syndrome – Hypnotherapy in Ely and Newmarket

Shy bladder syndrome, also known as paruresis, is an anxiety issue where you find yourself unable to urinate when there are other people there.

At home you’ll be totally fine, but in social settings, where other people can be there, it all becomes an anxious, stressful struggle. You need to pee, you go into the toilet and if there are others there, you simply can’t. If no one else happens to be there you can go fine. If it is a single, sole person toilet, you’ll be fine. Yet when others are there, it’s like your body freezes. You know you need to urinate but you either have to leave or you have to bide your time until other people have gone, while hoping no one else arrives (which may be impossible in busy places).

For some with shy bladder syndrome, the anxiety is only mild and can be managed. For others the use of public toilets is a constant challenge. You may find yourself watching to check if the toilet is likely to be empty of other people or checking the toilet locations beforehand. The fear of not being able to urinate when others are around can mean you just find it easier to avoid some social situations altogether.

As with all types of anxiety, there are the anxious thoughts and feelings that you have if you are in a situation where you can’t urinate in front of others, despite desperately needing to go. And then there is the anxious anticipation that you may find yourself in a future situation where you may need to go but can’t.

Shy bladder syndrome is a relatively common anxiety issue and one that I have helped many people to overcome. It can strike for men at urinals when someone else is also there, and it can apply to anyone in a public toilet cubicle if someone else is in the room.

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New Mental Health Podcast Coming Soon

New Mental Health Podcast Coming Soon

New Mental Health Podcast Coming Soon

I’m excited to let you know that I have a new mental health podcast coming soon!

I’m super excited about this as it is something I have always wanted to do so that I can reach more people and help them with tackling issues such as anxiety, worry and overthinking. I’ve teamed up with the biggest community group in Ely and we’ll be working together to benefit people in the area. I can’t wait!

I’ll be sharing the link to episodes on here and it should sit nicely with my ongoing articles here and as an Ely Standard columnist. I want to help as many people as I can to overcome anxiety, boost confidence and take back control over their thoughts, feelings and behaviours.

Now I’ve just got to work out how to use the technology (including cutting out the bloopers I will undoubtedly make!) and I’ll be all set. I hope to get started in the Autumn  and then  develop and grow the mental health podcast each episode (so be kind at the start, ok?!)

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Hypnotherapy for Public Speaking Anxiety

Hypnotherapy for Public Speaking Anxiety

Hypnotherapy for Public Speaking Anxiety

Do you have a fear of public speaking? If so, then hypnotherapy for public speaking anxiety may be your solution for calmness and confidence.

Anxiety around public speaking is one of the most common fears. Just the thought of speaking in front of others, whether professionally or socially, may be enough to fill you with dread. Your mind races with worry about all the things that could go wrong when speaking in front of others. You are probably okay talking to one to two people, or perhaps even a small group, but as soon as the numbers rise you feel sick with fear. With the spotlight on you, it’s like you forget how to relax and feel comfortable in yourself.

As with most anxiety, you probably do all you can to avoid public speaking and presentations. You feel better for having dodged it, but the underlying fear remains there for the next time. It can stop you fulfilling your potential and hold you back in your career. It can mean missing out on social occasions and things you would otherwise like to be doing. If you can’t avoid it then the dread kicks in.

When you know you are going to have to make a presentation or speech, or some other sort of public speaking, you start to dread it more and more. Your imagination starts to fill with all the things that could go wrong and worst case scenarios. You worry about messing up, making an idiot of yourself, being unable to speak, saying something wrong or just being so anxious that everyone will be able to notice. Having imagined it going wrong, you probably then start to think of all the negative consequences of people judging you or knowing you messed up and can’t speak in front of others. You overthink and overthink about it beforehand.

When you do try to speak in front of others, you feel hot, sweaty and shaky. Your mouth goes dry, you feel sick and you struggle to speak. You are hyper aware of all the eyes upon you. Your hands shake, the words don’t flow and you struggle to think clearly. You start to worry that others can tell you are anxious and that makes you even more anxious. You then worry even more because now you are sure people can tell you are anxious (that thinking then makes you even more anxious).

You get stuck in a cycle of anxious thoughts, feelings, actions and reactions before and during any attempt to speak in public. You may then dwell and criticise yourself as you think back on how you weren’t good enough afterwards. Hypnotherapy for public speaking can help you to break that pattern and to feel more calm, confident and in control in your thoughts and feelings beforehand and then when you do have the spotlight upon you.

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Weight Loss Jab Support with Hypnotherapy

Weight Loss Jab Support with Hypnotherapy

Weight Loss Jab Support with Hypnotherapy

If you’ve been using the weight loss jab then you may benefit from weight loss jab support to help you maintain your progress.

You may have enjoyed success using the weight loss jab but now you want to make sure that you don’t end up losing all that progress and piling the weight back on again. You’ll have done diets and other weight loss programmes before that brought great initial results. Yet you still ended up back with the old unhealthy relationship with food and unhealthy eating habits. This time you want things to be different and to keep the weight off for good.

As reported by the BBC, health experts are advising the need for ongoing support after weight loss jobs to make sure you keep the weight off. People often regain some or all of what they lost once they end any weight loss programme. Your focus and motivation slip, life returns to normal and those underlying habits resurface. On top of that comes all the frustration and disappointment that all of your hard work has been wasted.

Guidance from NICE (National Institute for Health and Care Excellence), who advise the NHS, has suggested that you may need support, guidance and a post jab plan to keep you healthy. After all, you know that weight loss is not a short term fix. It requires change to your relationship with food, mindset, attitude and habits.

This is where weight loss jab support through hypnotherapy can help you. You can take control over your long term eating habits and relationship with food to support you in being thinner, healthier and happier.

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National Relaxation Day – Free Hypnosis Audio

National Relaxation Day – Free Hypnosis Audio

National Relaxation Day – Free Hypnosis Audio

August 15th is National Relaxation Day!

Research, evidence and good old common sense tells us that taking some time out is good for our mental health. In the midst of our busy, and often stressful, lifestyles, taking time out is often placed on the back burner. We get engrossed in getting stuff done or staring at a screen. Taking time to relax becomes something to get around to when there is time. All too often, the time only arrives when the burnout, anxiety and stress becomes too much.

It isn’t only when life becomes overwhelming that relaxation is important. It is something that we can, and should, all build into managing and maintaining good mental health.

Indeed, by taking time out to relax, you’ll most likely feel able to concentrate better,  focus better and so get more done than you would by just ploughing on and on. What’s more, the time you use to relax can often lead to valuable insights and ideas that benefit your life.

If you struggle with anxiety, stress or poor sleep then taking time to switch off on National Relaxation Day, and on other days, is a bit of a must.

Many of you may already have a copy of my free Rapid Relaxation hypnosis download. I get a lot of positive feedback about it. And if you want to download your copy then

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Healing After Narcissistic Abuse

Healing After Narcissistic Abuse

Healing After Narcissistic Abuse

In this article I’m covering healing after narcissistic abuse, although in many ways it applies to recovery after any form of abusive relationship regardless of how it is categorised and labelled.

I’ve written previously about the stages of narcissistic abuse. The early love bombing develops into devaluation and control. Then comes the discard as the narcissist either senses a loss of control or power, or craves a new supply. You won’t know it until it happens but they have been smearing you and paving the way for this moment for a long time. They portray themselves as the victim of your abuse and use the sympathy of others to recruit their supporters against you.

A narcissistic relationship doesn’t just have to be of a romantic type. Narcissistic abuse can take place in friendships, relationships or in the work place. But regardless of the context, when you’ve been in a relationship with a narcissist, you will know about it. The damage of the abuse doesn’t always show on the outside. Inside, it can feel like your self-esteem, your voice and your sense of self have all been dismantled and destroyed. You find yourself disorientated and lost in a world where, through their control and manipulation, you no longer feel equipped to cope.

Narcissistic abuse comes with manipulation, gas-lighting, love bombing and emotional invalidation. When it comes to an end, you are left confused, anxious and unsure of who you really are. You are left a shell of who you once were.

But healing is possible and achievable. That doesn’t mean just ‘getting over it’ and moving on. Healing after narcissistic abuse is about rebuilding, reconnecting and rediscovering your voice and who you really are. If you’ve reached this point you are more resilient and capable that you could even imagine. And now you can recover and rise.

However much pain you are in right now, it is possible to heal from narcissistic abuse, to regain your sense of self and to move forward purposefully with your life.

Here’s how the journey of healing after narcissistic abuse begins:

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The Vicious Cycle of Anxiety

The Vicious Cycle of Anxiety

The Vicious Cycle of Anxiety

Do you feel trapped in the vicious cycle of anxiety?

We all experience unhelpful, worrying and anxious thoughts and feelings from time to time. They may pass through your mind very quickly and be soon forgotten. Or perhaps they linger for a short while but then time passes, or the thing you were anxious about gets sorted, and everything returns to normal. You move on and get back on with your normal routines, activities and thoughts.

However, if you struggle with problematic anxiety then you can get caught in the ever suffocating vicious cycle of anxiety. Your mind races with anxiety provoking potential catastrophes and worst case scenarios. You feel anxious, tense, restless and on edge. You struggle to concentrate and feel negative and low. You start avoiding things because you just don’t feel you’ll be able to cope or you excessively worry about others noticing your anxiety.

With anxiety, your negative thoughts can feel so prevalent, strong and dominant that you struggle to focus and take control over your thinking. You can’t focus as your mind races through all the negative possibilities. Even as you try to grasp what is going on inside your head, the anxiety moves on to something else. It can feel like you are fearfully chasing after your own mind and never catching up with your thinking. Even if you are able to interrupt, block or rationalise one of the worst case scenarios in your head, your anxiety changes direction and flows like a river onto some other perceived threat and awful catastrophe. It’s exhausting.

One thought just flows into another, and because those thoughts are so distressing and overwhelming, you also experience all the physical symptoms of anxiety. Your breathing increases, your heart races, you feel hot, you feel nauseous and you struggle to function. How you feel influences where your thinking goes. Because you feel so anxious, those anxious feelings drive your imagination into more and more negative and anxious thinking. This then keeps you feeling anxious, that then drives anxious thinking and which then adds to your uncomfortable feelings. You get caught in the vicious cycle of anxiety. Your anxious thoughts and feelings feed into each other. You feel worse and worse and your anxiety feels stronger and stronger.

You then start to dread things. What if those imagined worst case scenarios actually happen? What if you go out and feel anxious in front of others? You feel terrible, you are filled with anxiety and so you start to avoid things. This can bring some short term relief. However, the vicious cycle of anxiety gets strengthened by avoidance and the cycle just continues to repeat. You feel anxious even when you are not around the people, places, situations and circumstances you have been dreading. You start to anticipate feeling anxious and you expect it to happen. And then of course, you experience anxiety and this confirms your belief that you can’t handle, deal and cope with things.

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